Finding myself on top of the Mountains

For the last 6 months I have started, and stop writing this blog post over and over again. It seemed that in almost every post that I began I would try to tell about some experience that I had had in 2013 that some how marked the turning point in my life and not only started a new chapter of my life but instead was the beginning of a completely new volume. I realized that I could not start this post because  I was doing it all wrong. There isn't a single event that began this new story of my life but instead I found it upon many mountain tops, along endless miles of trail and on the sides of cliffs with thousands of feet of exposure.

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves." -John Muir

On January 1, 2013 I knew my life would never be the same. I knew the course of action that I had to take but was scared and afraid of the consequences. In the end I found the courage. I have now been divorced for nearly 8 months. Through the difficult times in my marriage, I traveled into the mountains often to get a clearer picture of my life, and to feel life itself flow back into me. The mountains in a sense have keep me alive. Through my experiences in the mountains I have come to love and cherish the difficulties that are found there. I have moved from finding the easiest way up the mountain to the hardest. From the simplest to the most complex and in turn taken this ambition from the physical mountain to the emotional/intangible mountains of life.

 
 "Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone"

-Neal Donald Walsch.

In the divorce I lost my house and have had to move several times with my dog, Nebo, which in the end has landed us at my parents house for the time being. At first, all the uncertainties of  life made me feel like my life had fallen apart and that recovery would be difficult. I took a month long trip in August 2013 to travel and climb in Canada and Washington. While in Washington I was climbing with a friend and he told me I was the most withdrawn quiet person he had ever climbed with. I had turned inward and had to find myself again.

I'm not quite sure when it happen or how it happened but as I sat in this chair on January 1, 2014 trying to write a blog that some how summed up 2013 I felt an overwhelming gratitude for my life and the experiences that I have had. 2013 was not marked by the end of something but the beginning of something greater. In my eyes, 2013 was probably one of the best years of my life and I have a hard time, now, thinking of all the pains and sufferings that I experienced, or at most, they are rarely ever on my mind. Instead I feel the joy of standing on top of intangible mountains in my life and I'm always looking forward to the next one.

I am a mountain man in my own way and seek mountains of all shapes and sizes so that I may be taught by them. Being at the top of a mountain is being able to see what is above the rest of the world and what lies beyond the horizon. Climbing a mountain will bring one up from the chaos and smog of the world and closer to God. Sauntering up a mountain side yields an appreciation and love for the journey that one must undertake to reach the top. Once at the top it is time to come back down and begin up the next mountain with the inspiration of the previous and the uncontrollable anticipation of what will be found on the next.

"If you want to know God at first hand the way to do that is not to enter a cathedral, not to open a book but to go to the mountain top. And on the mountain top, there you will see God as God truly is in the world."   -William Cronon, historian 

Thanks to everyone who has come into the mountain with me throughout the years and special Thanks to my main man Sam who has been my main climbing partner, philosopher and friend.