Salkantay Self Guided Rough Draft

The purpose of this post is to provide a rough overview of my experience on the Salkantay Trek and to provide you, the reader, with as much information that I can to be able to enable to plan your own Salkantay Trek to Machu Picchu. First off, it is important to know that I did this trek unguided and without the assistance of an agency. What this means is we obtained and carried all of our own gear, and also planned and executed all of our own itinerary for the trip. This is, in my honest opinion, the best way to do the Salkantay Trek to Machu Picchu but as I said this is my opinion and nothing else. This trip isn't for everyone and it will be up to decide weather or not this is the best for you. For those of you that are drawn towards this type of trip, this write up is for you.

Gear:
This is will be, by far, the most expensive part of your trip, if you don't already have the gear necessary for the trip. I know that there are options to renting some gear in Cusco but from the reviews that I have read and what I have seen, the gear is subpar and I am a bit of a gear snob. I believe having good gear can make or break a backpacking trip thus if you want to have a good experience backpacking you will take good gear with you. Plus buying gear is a investment into future treks and trips that will be well worth the initial expense as long as you continue to use it.
So here is a list of the items that I took with me and the shared gear that my wife and I carried.
(Mountain Hardwear = MHW, and Sea to Summit = STS )

Packs-
- My well used 5 year old Gregory Baltoro 70 liter Backpack- This pack has been good but is also heavy, bulky and falling apart for heavy use. I bought a Mountain Hardwear (MHW) Sol Col 70 liter backpack instead that is lighter, could double as a day pack and is waterproof, but it arrived the day after I left for Peru.
- MHW Scrambler 30 Daypack. You will need to have a day pack for going into Machu Picchu because it is prohibited to take large back packs into the ruins
-STS backpack rain cover for my big pack

Sleeping System-
-MHW Phantom 15 Sleeping Bag. Lightweight, True to the temperature rating, made out of 800 down so it packs down small, and water resistant down to boot
-Sea to Summit (STS) Reactor Thermolite Sleeping Bag Liner- I love this thing. It does add warmth to your sleeping bag but the reason that I love it the most is because 1) in warmer temperature I can un zip my sleeping bag completely and use it as a down blanket while the liner prevents cold spots. With the liner I can and have essentially use my 15 degree bag in temps up to 65 degrees and beyond that the liner is comfortable to sleep in alone with out the bag. 2) the liner protect the sleeping bag from getting dirty and the down from getting ruined by natural body oils and sweet.
-Thermorest Neoair All Season Air Mattress. Lightweight, comfortable and durable. You can get a lighterweight pad for the trek as you will not be sleeping directly on snow but this pad has stood the test of time and if my personal go to pad.
-STS Aeros Pillow Premium. Best lightweight pillow on the market. Packs down super small, weight 2.8 oz and is comfortable to sleep on.


Shelter-
-MHW Skyledge DP 2 Person, 3 Season Tent.

Cookware/Water Filter-
-Soto Micro Regulator Stove- I love this little guy. Super lightweight, small, burns hot, easy to regulate the amount of gas it is using, boils water fast, inexpensive, and because it can regulate the amount of gas being use makes for a great stove to cook with instead of just boiling water.
-STS X-Pot, Bowels and Cups- Although it isn't the lightest pot on the market, it is amazing. I love this pot because it holds up to 2.5 liters and collapses down into the size of a large pancake so it doesn't take up crazy amounts of space and it is easy to pack. Also to note is that the lid had a built in strainer that I really like and when the 2 cups and bowels are collapsed down they fit perfectly inside of the collasped pot. Very compact system and perfect for traveling. My personal favorite system on the market
-STS Titanium Spork
-Stove Fuel purchased from a local store in Cusco
-Platypus Gravity Works Water Filter. I could write a full report about how much I absolutely love this water filter but I just leave it at saying it is Lightweight, super fast and effortless to use. One of the best purchases I have ever made. Having a good filter is not only nice to have while backpack but is also very useful while traveling in countries where the quality of water is questionable. Enough said
-One bottle of Iodine Tablets as back up for water purification.

Hygiene/Emergency Kit-
-Standard lightweight first aid kit
-Seam Grip Glue and Tape for fixing anything and everything
-Magnesium Stick for lighting fires and my stove (the lighter button on my stove is broken)
-Black Diamond Icon HeadLamp. It is a heavier headlamp but I enjoy having the extra power and like that it is water proof and solidly built
-Spot Gen3 Satellite GPS Messenger. Purchase by my parents to keep an eye on me and make sure that I am ok, this little device takes my position via satellite and can send a simple set messages to either let them know that I am ok or that I need help. It can also end out an SOS message that goes to some emergency response team that will come rescue me in critical situation. My parents and family enjoy watching in real time my position and progess though out a trek. It is a good thing I guess =)
-STS Travel Towel. lightweight and important to have as there will be many opportunities to either bath in a glacial lake or in a hot shower provided by the camp host but they will not have towels available so you will need to have a towel.
-Standard hygiene kit (toothbrush, small tube of toothpaste, deodorant, extra contacts and solution, soap and shampoo.
-2L Camel Pack Hydration Pack
-1L Nalgene Bottle
-Travel size sunscreen

Clothing:

Head:
-Beanie
-lightweight ball cap
-Sunglasses

Tops:
-2 Icebreaker full Marino Wool T-Shirts.
-1 Smart Wool Long sleeve mid weight Merino Wool Crew Shirt
-1 Patagonia R1 Fleece Hoody.
-MHW Ghost Whisper Down Jacket. The best lightweight down jacket on the market. Weighting just 6 oz, this think is warm and packs down super small. It is the kind of layer that I will take with me without thinking twice unless I am going rock climbing or doing something very abrasive as it is also thin and could tear easy. My wife and I both have one and wore it pretty much every morning and evening during the colder hours before getting into the warm sleeping bags.
-MHW Quasar Lite Jacket. A fantastic well built, lightweight waterproof jacket. I really like this jacket because it breaths a hundred times better then Goretex shells, is half the cost, and is just a waterproof ( 100% waterproof ) all the time. To add I really like the color and fit of the jacket and is my favorite hardshell (waterproof/windproof jacket) I have owned to date
Hands:
-Some lightweight windproof gloves

(Note: I never really used/needed the Patagonia R1 Fleece as it never really got that cold... at least while I wasn't in my sleeping bag. All of the other layers were used often)

Bottoms:
-2 Prana Zion Stretch Pants (one with zip of legs and one normal) My favorite outdoor pants on the market. Great fit, look good, durable, light, stretchy, dry fast and wind resistant. I have been using these pants for years and haven't found anything better for hiking, climbing, outdoor loving.
-3 ExOfficio Boxer Brief. dry fast, lightweight, and don't get stinky very fast
-Eagle Creek Money Belt. Stylish and very good at hiding a lot of money that won't get lost or stolen
-Swimsuit

Feet:
-La Sportiva FC ECO 2.0 GTX Hiking Shoes. Great shoe and La Sportiva has alway fit my foot very well. They are holding up well and are waterproof. No blisters, or hotspots to report.
-3 pairs of Merino Wool Socks.
- A pair of random cheap lightweight flip flop sandals purchased at the local Peruvian market for 4 dollars. A must have for kicking it around camp, taking showers in and want not.

Food:
-Really to you taste but I just want to note that at he local grocery store we found dried mashed potatoes, pastas, small packets of sauces, Ramon Noodles, dried sausages, hard cheeses, instant soaps, lots of dried fruit, nuts, beans and what not for making trail mix from.

(Note: depending on how you do the trip, budget and desires you will only be required to cook your own food for 2-3 days as you can get breakfast, lunch and dinner most of the day along the trail if planned accordingly.)

Misc: (know your own abilities and don't pack more than you can handle, everything will matter at high elevation)

-Camera. For me this included about 15 lbs of equipment but for many it may just be a simple little point and shot.

Gothic Peak MHW Lamina Z Spark

Last week, MHW sent me one of their new models of synthetic sleeping bags to test out, the Lamina Z Spark. In the pass I have always thought that bulky and heavy went hand in hand with synthetic sleeping bags, but this was not the case with the Lamina Z. At 2.1 lbs it fell well within the weight limit for backpacking and compressed down as small as 7 X 9 inches. My only concern was that I received the Lamina Z Spark which is a 34 degree sleeping bag at the end of February. On top of that I love to camp in the mountains, as high up as I can. My plans for the weekend were to hike up Gothic Peak (6,213 ft) in WA and camp just below the summit at 6,130 feet on a narrow exposed ridge. The forecast looked favorable for the weekend so I decided that I'd just have to put the sleeping bag to the test. I also decided to pair it with a sleeping bag liner to add about 10 degrees of warmth allowing me sleep comfortably in temperatures down to 25 degrees. Satisfied with our plan, my wife and I packed up our things and headed out. To reach our campsite on Gothic Peak we had to hike roughly 5.5 miles and gain just over 4,000 vertical feet. The first half of the trail was snow free hiking through lush green forest but around 3,500 feet we began to encounter snow and soon enough we were hiking in full on winter conditions. The trail was buried under snow with about 6 inches of fresh powder on top. After 4.5 miles we reached Gothic Basin (5230 ft) where we found a sunny dry rock to rest on and had lunch. Looking out across the frozen Foggy Lake we looked up at Gothic Peak another 1000 feet above our heads.  A friend had told us that he camped on a small ridge about 80 feet below the summit but as we looked up at the Gothic Peak, we began to wonder if there would be a spot big enough for our tent. As we started hiking up there around 2 in the afternoon, we began encountering people coming down from the summit and asked them if they had seen a spot to camp below the summit. Everyone said that there wasn't a good campsite, and that the small ridge was too rocky and narrow for a tent. Their responses only increased our concerns but I also knew that my friend had indeed put a tent up there so we decided to continue on to take a look for ourselves. When we reached the ridge, just before the final scramble to the summit of Gothic Peak, I looked around and there it was, a very small, old snow tent platform just big enough for our tent. I let out a sigh of relief and smiled. I got to work immediately and in no time at all we had our tent set up with a breathtaking view out of its doors. Satisfied, I crawled inside the Lamina Z and kicked back enjoying the evening views from inside the tent. Looking east I could see a seemingly endless expands of mountain peaks including Sloan Peak, Glacier Peak, Mount Stuart, and the mighty Mount Rainier. As the mountains began to change colors in the last light of day and the temperatures plummeted, I fired up the stove and began to cook dinner all without having to get out of the Lamina Z. For being a 35 degree bag I was already very impressed with how warm and comfortable it was. I felt like the luckiest man in the world while seating there eating dinner, but the real test was to come as the sun extinguished behind the horizon and the temperatures continued to plummet. At this point I pulled out my thermometer and placed it inside of the tent to accurately test how well the bag preformed. The temperature read 34 degrees so I pulled out the sleeping bag liner, crawling into it while in my sleeping bag, zipped up the tent doors and went to sleep. At around 4 am I woke up feeling warm and toasty. I thought that it must have been at least 30 degrees inside the tent but when I took a look at the thermometer it read 25 degrees. I was impressed. With the sleeping bag and liner combine the comfort sleep rating is 25 degrees and I couldn't agree more. Every part of my body from head to toes felt just about perfect. I smiled with great satisfaction and fell back asleep until sunrise.
At 7am the alarm went off and I simply opened up the door, pulled back the fly and laid comfortably in my Lamina Z and watched the sunrise while taking a few pictures. It was one of the best mornings I have had to date. All of the gear that I had brought with me on the trip worked great and I would not change a thing. Thank you Mountain Hardwear for the kick ass sleeping bag and the Trango 2 tent that made this trip possible.

A Brief Overview of my Adventure Log for 2013

A brief review of what I did in 2013.


January:

• Mount Aire, UT
• Ice Climbing in Ouray, CO
• Lone Peak, UT hiked nearly 6000 feet
• Joe's Valley, UT ice climbing Donorcicle, Deadbolt, Baby Steps, CCC Falls
• Mount Olympus, UT ice climbing

February:

• Cody, WY for Ice climbing in the South Fork
• Mount Superior, UT via South Ridge in the middle of a snow storm

March: 

• Red Rock, NV climbed Johnny Vegas, Solar Slab, Birdland, Frogland
• Pheifferhorn, UT via North Ridge in a whiteout
• Moab Area, UT climbed Castleton Tower and Ancient Art Tower
• Mount Olympus, UT climbed Guert's Ridge with a solid 2 feet of snow on the ridge

April

• Shinglemills Peak with attempt on Freedom Peak but snow was too deep
• Red Rock, NV climbed Crimson Chrysalis, Cat in the Hat and Couldn't be Schmooter
• Red Rock, NV drove all the way back next week to climb Epinephrine

May

• Triple Traverse, UT a spring snow climb that climbs up Sunrise Peak, Dromedary Peak, and Broad Fork Twin Peaks
• City of Rocks, ID
• North Thunder Mountain, UT via up the Hypodermic Needle
• Mount Olympus, UT via Kamp's Ridge free soloed all but one pitch of climbing

June

• Mount Meeker, CO via Dreamweaver mix climbing
• Longs Peak, CO via the "Notch" and continue mixed climbing to the summit
• Mount Timpanogos, UT via Timpanookee Trail
• Mount Vestal, CO via Wham Ridge-free soloed
• Mount Arrow, CO via North Ridge- free soloed
• Haystack Mountain, WY via the Minor Dihedral 
• Steeple Peak, WY via North Ridge
• Pingora, WY via South Buttress
• WolfHead, WY via East Ridge

July 

• City of Rocks, ID
• Grand Teton, WY via the Petzoldt Ridge and soloed the Upper Exum

August

• Lone Peak Cirque, UT climbed The Center Thumb and Triple OverHangs 
• Bugaboo Spire, BC free soloed Kain Route
• Pigeon Spire, BC free soloed West Ridge
• Schweitzer Moutain, ID via ski resort trails
• Mount Shuksan, WA, via Fisher Chimney to South East Rib
• Mount Stuart, WA via the complete North Ridge
• Dragontail, WA via Backbone Ridge
• Prusik Peak, WA via West Ridge

September

• Mount Olympus, UT via West Slab- free solo
• Temple Crag, CA via Sun ribbon Arete
• Temple Crag, CA via Venusian Blind Arete
• Box Elder Peak, UT via Deer Creek Trail
• Francis Peak, UT via Farmington Canyon on Bike
• Thurston Peak, UT via road and trail from Francis Peak on bike and foot

October

• Mount Nebo, UT via north peak trail 
• North Peak, UT via north peak trail

November

• Red Rock, NV climbed Black Dagger, Nightcrawler, Dream of Wild Turkeys, Triassic Sands, Great Red Book and multiple sport climbs
• St. George/Zion NP, UT climbed a ton and summited a Small Utah Volcano

December

• Great White Icicle, UT  free solo
• Provo Canyon Ice, UT climbed White Nightmare, Bridal Veil Right
• Mount Olympus, UT hike standard trail 

Year End Statistics (2013):

• Mountains summited: 44
• Pitches of Climbing (per MountainProject.com): 464
•  Estimated nights in a sleeping bag/camping: 47
• Nights spent driving to a climb: 13
• Miles traveled to climbs: Ha ha like I'm going to take the time to figure that one out! I think my Canada/Washington Trip used 3,100 miles alone.
• States that I traveled to for climbing and how many times I visited- Nevada x4, California x1, Colorado x3, Idaho x3, Wyoming x3, Washington x1,  Bristish Columbia x1
• Injuries: none
• Miles hiked: countless
• Days spent backpacking (Backpacking = Carrying everything needed for multiple days of Camping/Climbing): 26
• Pairs of Climbing Shoes Worn Out: 5
• Best Picture of the Year: ..... hmmm not sure
• Most popular climbing video of the year: It was hands down my video of climbing the Bugaboo Spire free solo. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtgRAHyheLQ 
• Days actually spent climbing on rock or ice (per Mountainproject.com): 79
• Different routes climbed (per Mountainproject.com): 155
• Vertical elevation gained in route to the summit of a mountain only: I estimate 126,000 feet.. conservatively 

Finding myself on top of the Mountains

For the last 6 months I have started, and stop writing this blog post over and over again. It seemed that in almost every post that I began I would try to tell about some experience that I had had in 2013 that some how marked the turning point in my life and not only started a new chapter of my life but instead was the beginning of a completely new volume. I realized that I could not start this post because  I was doing it all wrong. There isn't a single event that began this new story of my life but instead I found it upon many mountain tops, along endless miles of trail and on the sides of cliffs with thousands of feet of exposure.

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves." -John Muir

On January 1, 2013 I knew my life would never be the same. I knew the course of action that I had to take but was scared and afraid of the consequences. In the end I found the courage. I have now been divorced for nearly 8 months. Through the difficult times in my marriage, I traveled into the mountains often to get a clearer picture of my life, and to feel life itself flow back into me. The mountains in a sense have keep me alive. Through my experiences in the mountains I have come to love and cherish the difficulties that are found there. I have moved from finding the easiest way up the mountain to the hardest. From the simplest to the most complex and in turn taken this ambition from the physical mountain to the emotional/intangible mountains of life.

 
 "Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone"

-Neal Donald Walsch.

In the divorce I lost my house and have had to move several times with my dog, Nebo, which in the end has landed us at my parents house for the time being. At first, all the uncertainties of  life made me feel like my life had fallen apart and that recovery would be difficult. I took a month long trip in August 2013 to travel and climb in Canada and Washington. While in Washington I was climbing with a friend and he told me I was the most withdrawn quiet person he had ever climbed with. I had turned inward and had to find myself again.

I'm not quite sure when it happen or how it happened but as I sat in this chair on January 1, 2014 trying to write a blog that some how summed up 2013 I felt an overwhelming gratitude for my life and the experiences that I have had. 2013 was not marked by the end of something but the beginning of something greater. In my eyes, 2013 was probably one of the best years of my life and I have a hard time, now, thinking of all the pains and sufferings that I experienced, or at most, they are rarely ever on my mind. Instead I feel the joy of standing on top of intangible mountains in my life and I'm always looking forward to the next one.

I am a mountain man in my own way and seek mountains of all shapes and sizes so that I may be taught by them. Being at the top of a mountain is being able to see what is above the rest of the world and what lies beyond the horizon. Climbing a mountain will bring one up from the chaos and smog of the world and closer to God. Sauntering up a mountain side yields an appreciation and love for the journey that one must undertake to reach the top. Once at the top it is time to come back down and begin up the next mountain with the inspiration of the previous and the uncontrollable anticipation of what will be found on the next.

"If you want to know God at first hand the way to do that is not to enter a cathedral, not to open a book but to go to the mountain top. And on the mountain top, there you will see God as God truly is in the world."   -William Cronon, historian 

Thanks to everyone who has come into the mountain with me throughout the years and special Thanks to my main man Sam who has been my main climbing partner, philosopher and friend.  

What "Building a Life of Happiness" means to me

I titled my blog "Building a Life of Happiness"..... what does that mean? What is happiness?!?! "Happiness" is just one of those words that is thrown around with many degrees of meaning, kind of like 'love". I mean, does anyone really think that when someone says,"mmmmm I really really love this hamburger" that it has the same meaning as a 80 year old man telling his wife of 55 years that he Loves her? Didn't think so. Neither am I talking about the happiness that is found inside a Happy Meal from McDonald's.
When I say "Building a Life of Happiness" I am talking about a completeness. The filling of being whole without parts of your life missing. It is the feeling that you get when you find something or someone that fills a hole is your life.  This is why I chose the word "Building". I don't imagine I will ever be able to finish this. It is a never ending project that is built with hard to obtain building materials. Sometimes you think to yourself," I'll put that right there, that feels good to me" and you move on. Then years later you realize that you need to remodel your life in order to allow for change/growth. By no means does that mean that you screwed up, it just means you are changing and that is good. Sometimes change is uncomfortable but that is exactly what you need in order to reach your goals. Goals are what pushes us out of our comfort zone and into changing our live so that we can maintain and remodel our lives of happiness. One of the scriptures that I found on my mission that really struck home with me on this subject is the story of Peter when he attempted to walk on water to go to Christ. The story goes that Peter and the other apostles were on a boat in the middle of the sea in a storm. Jesus appeared to them walking across the sea on water and called the apostles to come to him. Peter took up the challenge and got out of a perfectly good boat and placed his feet on water and started actually walking on water to go to Christ. After a few steps Peter began  to get distracted from his goal of reaching Christ and started paying attention to other things. When Peter did this he began to sink and called out to Christ to help him. Christ stretch forth his hand and pulled Peter up to him helping him in his trial.
Why did Peter get out of that boat to attempt something that was not only hard, it was scientifically impossible! I feel that it is because Peter KNEW what he wanted in life. He KNEW what his goals were and he was NOT going to reach them sitting back and drinking his margarita in his safe little boat. He needed to get up and move. Go and do something that was difficult, to put it mildly.
My Goal is to BE happy. I need to get up and move. Challenge myself and if I find myself faltering, I can call on God and those people that God has placed in my life to help me get there.
To build a life of happiness is as complex and it is individual. No two lives are the same. What will work for me may not work for another, but I do feel that there are some building materials that must be used to create the framework and foundation for such a life, AND some material that will corrode such a life. These essential build materials for the framework, as I understand them, are personal growth, relationships and a desire to help other and since those are the essential building materials for the framework of Happiness, then the foundation is made up of Love.
The best part about these basics of Happiness is that they don't cost a penny but are worth more then anything else in this world. Benjamin Franklin wrote: " The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. YOU have to catch it yourself".

My life at a glance

It is just past midnight. A few minutes ago I was lying in my bed with my eyes closed and my mind raging with an upheaval of emotional turmoil. Memories of family and friends were flashing through my mind asking me," Is everything OK?". All I could say is ,"Sure...". I don't know what to say. I don't know where to begin. It is so complex, how could you understand? Sometimes I would try to explain that things are not OK, that my heart is broken and my life feels empty", but every time I tried my words would come out more like a balls of yarn, mixed up, chaotic, and senseless, instead of cohesive sentences. I am trapped inside of my emotions, unable to express what I am feeling in order to free myself. This is the purpose for which I am now sitting in front of my computer this night writing down my thoughts. I want to free myself from this emotional prison in which I have trapped myself alone, and get out, take in a breath of peace, and open myself up to what life is all about, Happiness.

To start this blog I feel that is it important to introduce myself. Hello my name is Jake. I grew up in the small town of Coalville, Utah until I was 12 years old, then my family and I moved to Bountiful, Utah where I have basically lived since, with little exceptions. I am the second youngest of 6. I have 4 sisters and 1 bother. My parents have been married  for... well a long time and all of my sisters and brother are also married and have kids.
I grew up as a very active child. My mom always tells me how she had a hard time keeping track of me. Once, when I was two years old, she tells me, I was at home with her and when she turned her back, I snuck off. When she turn back around I was going and started looking for me. It wasn't long before she heard a pitter patter across the roof. The thought came back to my mom, like a bolt of lightening, that my dad had left the ladder up against the house the day before after doing something on the roof, and that I was now on the roof. She burst outside and climbed the ladder to find me only a diaper running across the roof. She ran across the roof just in time to grab me before I jump off in an attempt to fly. She has told me since how she explained to me that if I had jumped off the roof I would have been hurt. I responded to her that nothing could hurt me.
It is by the love of my mother that I survived my younger years and was granted the gift to mature. Through Junior High and most of High School I spent a small amount of my time studying and most of my time goofing off with friends. I started playing football when I was 13 and played until my Senior Year of High School when I decided that I didn't like organized sports. Instead I engaged myself in playing paintball, snowboarding, video games (Halo) and hanging out with friends. During high school I never had a serious girl friend and had never kissed a girl. My life was pretty simple through high school without involving romance in it.
After high school, at the age of 19, I sent in my request to go on an LDS mission for two years. I was called to the Spanish speaking mission of Asuncion, Paraguay and left in December of 2005. While I learn many truth about life, there were two in particular that helped me draw up the plans on out I would construct my life. The first truth was that I needed to serve others and forget about myself. The second was that I needed to constantly challenge myself  and to not get comfortable while life pasted me by. Towards the end of my mission in Paraguay, thought started turning to home and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I knew that first off, I would need a career that would always challenge me and allow me to serve others selflessly. My first thought was to join the military, particularly the marines. I had always been drawn to the physical and mental challenge that the United States Marines face. In fact, while I was a Senior in high school I was assigned a senior project that would involve producing a report on the career we wanted pursue after high school. I did mine on being a Marine which included doing a job shadow. I was convinced that it was the life for me. What job out there is more selfless and challenging then being a Marine? The only problem with that was I also wanted to have a family, and being a Marine meant that I would be gone most of the time and would be moving from place to place, making it difficult to have a family. So I revisited the subject on what I wanted to do for my life career. While I was facing this question on my mission, I was asked to accompany a United State military medical group in a small town in Paraguay to translate. When I got to where the medical group was stationed in a small school in a remote town, I found hundreds and hundreds of people lined up seeking medical attention. I was quickly put to work translating for doctors and nurses who were providing a variety of medical services to the people. I remember ask one of the medical personnel how long they thought it would take to see all of the people that had come. He responded that they would most likely be done by that afternoon because they didn't have enough supplies to care for everyone that showed up. I spent the rest of day translating and found myself enthused by all of the diseases and illnesses that we came across. I enjoy talking to the medical personnel and learning about what they were doing. I was amazed by how much they needed to know to do what they were doing and thought this is job for me. This is exactly what I want to do with my life.

At the end of 2005 I returned home from serving my two years as a missionary. I started working for my dad as wielder and enrolled in school with the goal of getting my bachelors in nursing. A few months later I meet a girl in a religion studies class named was Alyssa. Prior to meeting her I had never kissed a girl nor did I ever really have the confidence to speak with a girl one on one, without getting overly nervous, but Alyssa made it easy. She asked me out and from there we hit it off. She was easy to talk to and I really enjoyed her company. During our first date I remember asking her how old she was. When she told me that she was only 18 I was taken back and blown away by her maturity. I had thought of leaving her because she was so young but she had already captured me with her corky fun loving personality and beauty. I was smitten. We dated. I had my first kiss. I asked her to be my girl friend and later asked her to be my wife. She said,"Yes!". Alyssa was then 19 but I had given her my heart and I couldn't take it back. She suggested that we had a long engagement, waiting a year before getting married but in my young eager mind, I thought," why wait if I know I want to married you and you know that you want to marry me?". She resisted me for a short time saying that we should get married in a year but at my persistence we got married 5 months later. On August 4th 2006 we were married in the Salt Lake City Temple and from there..... well lets just say it wasn't long before I started regretting my decision to marry this wonderful girl. She simply wasn't ready to be married at such a young age. Details of the next two years of our marriage really aren't necessary, but by the time our two year anniversary rolled around 2008, I was done. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt for marrying this girl that I loved so much when she wasn't ready to be married. She did love me but just wasn't ready at the time to be married to me, something I just didn't understand. We separated and I was looking into getting a divorce. She came back a few weeks later in tears having had an experience that made her realize how much she loved me and that she really did want to be married to me. I was overcome with love and joy that she loved and wanted to be married to me. We got back together and remained married.
It was also during this time that I hiked my first mountain. Living at the foot the the Wasatch Mountains for most of my life, I had always looked up at them and wondered if anyone ever hiked them. I remember when I was younger asking my dad if he knew anyone that had ever hiked up Timpanogos (One of the prominent mountains in the Wasatch Range). He told me that my great uncle.... (or one of my ancestors, not sure who) would hike Timpanogos every year until he got too old. This story stuck with me and made me often think about what it would be like to stand up on top of Timpanogos looking down. For a long time I really wanted to hike up there but couldn't find anyone to go with me.

On August 23, 2008 I decided I was done waiting to see if anyone would go with me and alone I hiked up the Majestic Mount Timpanogos. I can vividly remember that hike. All of  the muscle from my toes to my hips cramps up by the time I was 2/3rd up that mountain. I could barely move. I remember having to lye down on the trail to try and relax my muscles. Once the cramps were gone if I so much as flex any of my leg muscle they would tighten up again making my legs useless for another 2 minutes. I hobbled along for nearly 2 more hours in excruciating pain toward the summit. A few hundred feet from the summit my legs finally gave up trying to stop me and I summited my first mountain after 5 hours. Since then I have made climbing mountains, aka Mountaineering, a major part of my life. I have climb over 90 unique peaks with multiple ascents via a variety of different routes. This love of the mountains and nature in general has been, in many ways, a life line to happiness and peace in my life.

Over the next 3 years of being married to Alyssa, I think thing were pretty good. We still had our disagreements, although not to the extent as in the first two years of our marriage. We were able to work through most everything. I personally don't any lingering bad memories from those years. Our marriage as a whole had improved dramatically. I felt like we had finally worked out the major kinks in our relationship and were just working on the smaller things... and the life long pursuit of improving ourselves. I believe it was in 2009 Alyssa went back to school at The University of Utah to start working towards getting her Bachelors in Piano Performance. In 2010 I graduated from the University with my Bachelors in Nursing Science and started working for the University Hospital as a Registered Nurse (RN).

In 2011 for our 5th anniversary we took a trip to the island of Kauai in Hawaii. The trip was phenomenal. We essential put away our phones and disconnected from everything else in our lives and just focused on being with each other. We spent 7 nights camping on the beach while we went hiking, snorkeling, sea kayaking and 2 nights in a nice secluded bed and breakfast. It was exactly how I imagined being married should be. I learned that our marriage was at its best when we weren't being sabotaged by the distractions of life. 2011 finished out just about as perfectly as I could have ever planned. We ended up buying a house in Bountiful after getting back from Hawaii and in November we got our dog Nebo. That little dog is one of the sweetest animals God ever put on this earth. Then 2012 came around......

..... 2012..... what a difficult year to put into words. I had many profoundly positive and negative experiences that I will need much more then this one post to try and put in words. For the purpose of this post I will just be staying on the subject of my marriage for the most part.

Up and to this year, Alyssa and I had pasted through many difficult times and remained together as I had previously explain in this post. What I had not previously explained though was the deep run wounds and scares that we carried with us from those times. The worst of which was our damaged line of communication. It is because of this damaged line of communication that I have a hard time pin pointing when things started going south. Honestly when 2012 began I felt like things were going pretty good. I was still riding the high of our time in Kauai. I felt that if I could recreate time at least every other week when Alyssa and I could just  be together without any other distractions, like we had in Kauai, we could substantial improve our relationship. Unfortunately the life style that Alyssa had chosen for herself didn't permit us too much time together. She seemed to have a way of keeping herself so busy it was nauseating trying to find time with her. Alyssa's life was largely taken up by her school, which began to intensify that spring in preparation for her junior piano recital. When she wasn't spending hours at school or at the piano practicing, she was teaching piano to students and when she wasn't doing that she was doing Crossfit and sometime during the beginning of 2012 she also began doing triathlons and the training necessary. She literally didn't have time to think. I was left alone at home with no one I felt I could talk to. Fortunately I was still very much engaged in hiking/climbing mountains that provided me with a way to release my built up energies and I had my dog Nebo who was always happy to spend time with me. Between these two resources I was able to release my frustrations and find happiness despite the absence of my wife. I keep telling myself that I just needed to support her and be patient with her while she finished her schooling. I keep trying to find time together. In May I went to Kenya to do some humanitarian work with a group called "Koins for Kenya". When I returned home Alyssa's stress levels were increasing from all that she had going on and I learned that she was having a hard time facing down some childhood experiences that had been lurking in the subconscious corners of her mind. She began to see a therapist to help her deal with her childhood. I continued to reach out to her in an attempt to be there for her. It was difficult to see her suffer but she just turned away from me and I found myself even more alone in our relationship then I was before. Spring turned to summer and summer turned to fall. The lack of marital maintenance aloud time to decay the emotional flesh of our relationship down to the bear bones of financial and legal obligations. I was starving, gnawing on the emotionally rich memories of our marriage. I begged Alyssa to once again work with me in cultivating a strong and health marriage upon which we could feed, but she was removed. She had changed her mind and her heart in an attempt to combat a lingering childhood and current stresses that she created for herself. She avoid me on our anniversary, Thanksgiving, my birthday, and Christmas. I was devastated. Then it all came to a climax on New Year's Day. After going our with my dog, Nebo, on a hike I returned to an empty home. Alyssa had gone out with her friends on New Years Eve. She stayed at her friends home that night and all of New Years day. After coming home I was frustrated. I wanted to know what was going on. Why was she always gone? I went looking through her things to find clues as to the life that she had been living. What I found was what put our marriage under the guillotine. I found 2012 Christmas card in which she was with another guy and his family. I couldn't breath, because my heart stopped beating for a few minutes. The rest is all history.

Today, one month later, I find myself once again alone in my home. Alyssa has moved out of the house and she tells me that I am the one that must cut the rope holding the blade of the guillotine. I find myself contemplating for hours and hours what I should do. She want to work things out. She says she loves me, but needed to leave the house to get away and have sometime to herself to attempt to repair her emotionally damaged life. There are days were I have raise the axe to cut the rope but lost all strength to do so at the last minute. This is the most difficult thing I have ever attempted to do. How can I just simply end a marriage to someone that has had my heart for 6 years?

Although this is a very sad and disturbing part of my life, it is just that. It is only a part of my life. Among the difficulties of marriage I have grown to become a better Man. I believe that life is never just black and white. It is never just good or never just bad. Life is a mixture of experiences in which we get to decide weather they will effect us in a positive or negative way. I choose to find the positive in life as often as I can and with those positive experiences I am building a life of happiness.